EQUIP

Now that you’ve spoken the blessing, what’s next? What comes after that? It is time to effectively mentor them.

Effective Mentoring

If you have children mentoring is taking place daily. How? By them watching your every move! Effective mentoring is designed to understand this truth and making the adjustments necessary to truly bless your kids through an intentional mentoring process.

If you do not have your own children, or are just thinking about mentoring a boy who is in need then the term mentoring can be intimidating. Mainly because they think that they are not equipped to mentor another man or boy. But when you truly boil down mentoring, it’s all about being there for another guy, listening to his challenges, asking him questions and doing your best to point him in the right direction. The following components are key to a successful mentoring and the building of long lasting relationships.

Who should you mentor?

As a rule of thumb you should only mentor those who are the same gender. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, like if you are the child’s mom or dad.

The first meeting or phone call

As you begin the relationship, it’s always best to let the person you are mentoring talk about themselves. Get to know each other and then set a consistent meeting schedule. For example, every Thursday at 7am or the first Monday of the month. The important thing is to block out a specific day and time.

1. Open with accountability questions

Establish a routine for the meetings. We suggest that you begin by asking a set of accountability questions. These questions should be direct and to the point. Your child or mentee will come to the meeting expecting you to ask them these questions. Stress to them the importance of answering honestly! If you need to dig deeper on any one question, make a note, but continue to have them answer all the questions. Then you can go back to any of his answers and explore them further. (See website for examples)

2. Listen intently to their answers

As you listen do not judge or show shock at what they are saying. In all situations extend and reflect grace. This is very important to gain his trust. You may also find yourself wanting to interrupt them while they are speaking. Resist. Let them get everything out and then ask questions.

3. Ask questions, questions and more questions

The art of asking good questions is a powerful tool. On our website is a tool called “The Value of Questions?” This was offered by John Maxwell’s Maximum Impact Club (mileaderonline.com). If you can master this art, you won’t have to come up with very many solutions for them. The questions you ask should make them realize what they should do. Again, this art takes time to refine but this would be the end goal.

4. Provide positive & negative motivations

As you are listening to your mentee answering the questions start thinking about some positive or negative motivations you can provide them. These are dependent on their answers and are framed as a question. For example:
Positive motivation: Ask them, “What do you have to gain in life by avoiding these temptations? Instead of giving into this temptation, what kind of person do you want to become?”
Negative motivation: Ask them, “If you continue doing this over and over, what do you stand to lose in your life?”

5. Recognize when someone is in need of additional help

Remember you are not a counselor…you are a dad or a friend! I repeat you are not a counselor and if someone is:
• Talking of suicide or harming themselves
• Talking of harming someone else
• Becoming aggressive or agitated
You should arrange for them to speak with a professional counselor.

6. Be patient

Patience is truly a virtue. Make sure you extend it to others. Remember some of the young people you will be mentoring might be coming from a bad place and will try to test you to see why you are doing this. Or they just have a bad attitude. Therefore patience is key. Don’t quit! Ultimately, you will become an important or more important person in their lives.

7. Get started today!

Procrastination is a great challenge for many. We see others who need help but we just fail to act. Just think if you were there for another person, young or old, and you’re mentoring helped them to overcome a great challenge in their life or put them on the right path, what’s that worth? Therefore look for an opportunity to serve another and seize the moment!

Resources

The following tools are being made available to help you be better prepared to mentor another male, whether young or older. Powerful mentoring takes place when a mentor has a solid understanding of who he is. The idea is that if you don't know yourself how can you effectively mentor another? Please utilize these tools and discover things about you that you either never knew or forgot. Dots will be connected!

Mentoring Application Click HERE
Leadership Role Indicator Click HERE
Your Personal Mission Statement Click HERE
The 14 Stages Of An Average Man Click HERE
5 Questions Everyone Should Answer Click HERE
The History Of You Click HERE
Accountability Questions Click HERE
Ask Questions, Questions and More Questions Click HERE

RESOURCES:
Mentoring Application
Click HERE

Leadership Role Indicator
Click HERE

Your Personal Mission Statement
Click HERE

The 14 Stages Of An Average Man
Click HERE

5 Questions
Click HERE

Unlocking The Mystery
Click HERE

Ask Questions
Click HERE

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Contact

973.865.8000
info@legacymindedmen.org

Mail:
234 Main Street
2nd Floor
Lincoln Park, NJ 07035

Legacy Minded Men QR Code White

Fathers Say® is a Registered Trademark of Legacy Minded Men

Legacy Minded Men, Inc is a non-profit 501c3 Corporation. Copyright by Legacy Minded Men. All Rights Reserved 2017

Site designed and powered by: The High Tech Way